My Woke Manifesto

The Purple Revolution is upon us, and I dedicate my life to the cause!

In the spirit of unity, I denounce those who are not with us, for they are against us. Marx, Lenin and Stalin never promised us freedom or democracy, so those who disagree will soon cease to be.
We are all united, under this Welfare State. There is no “me” in our state; there is only we. Biden has freed us from the great oppression imposed by democracy, capitalism, individualism and self-sovereignty. We no longer have to try and better ourselves, for we are all the same. There will be no need for us to succeed at anything! Soon, no one will enjoy the privileges of owning more land, larger houses, more expensive cars or closets full of designer clothes. We will own nothing, so there will be no jealousy.
Our lives will be simple and uncomplicated. We will walk to work and toil the day away. Those who cannot work will be paid anyways. Some of us will work as revolutionaries, while others will engage in the noblest work there is: manual labor.
Others will educate, though children will no longer be required to learn the systemically racist mathematics, history and science of the former white privilege elites. Comrade Biden and the American Progressives have already mandated a curriculum that teaches critical race theory, and frees us from the constraints of creativity and critical thinking. Children are already memorizing Marxist ideology. They are learning that a belief in God and a sense of morality are the lies that Capitalists teach, in their efforts to stop our progress towards a world ruled by one socialist government. I am surprised that children are still being taught to read!
I guess it is important, though, for the people to be able to read their tax statements and their bills. How would our great Progressive leaders be able to march us towards progress, without most of our hard-earned paychecks? How would they be able to collect rent, labor union dues and monetary penalties for those who feel it is a necessity to drive and pollute?
Even though our Progressive leaders will continue to fly private jets, buy expensive homes and protect themselves with walls and armed guards, our society will be free from borders, police and law and order! If we are robbed, raped or killed, the perpetrators will not be punished, because it is the very nature of man to do whatever is necessary to impose their will on others. Survival of the fittest is really the only law that matters. The conquest of another’s mind, body and soul is the primary objective of every good Progressive. At any cost, we must impose our Progressive Will on everyone. If we do not, there will cease to be progress!

This article is satirical commentary and not necessarily the view(s) of the website owners.

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